WEEK 13 RECAP

Playoffs baby!

1. DC Khaleesi (10-3)

Miranda has successfully held onto the #1 seed in the playoffs which made Anthony proud and potentially gave him a rematch without bonus points in the first round, but it was not meant to be. Miranda's draft picks and waiver pickup-of-the-year candidate Knowshon continue to perform above their already high projections, leaving few to doubt that DC Khaleesi may run wild in the playoffs.

2. Think Like a Manning (8-5)

Dana couldn't quite overtake DC Khaleesi, but his late season push secured the #2 seed. The surprise benching of a healthy Steven Ridley left Shane Vereen in the RB1 category just in time for the playoffs. Dana is hoping that the late game benching of Marshawn Lynch was more happenstance than trend for the already playoff-bound Seahawks.

3. Crannogmen (8-5)

Luke had a tough lineup call to make this week. Should he start Ben Tate after only getting 7 rushes the previous week? Well, 3 touchdowns later, Luke overcame a 0 from Nate Burleson and pulled out a win. CJ Spiller may be an interesting x factor for Luke's playoff run after finally playing like a startable RB.

4. Double Ent-Andres (7-6)

Jon Stern survived a stumble last week thanks to Allison and made it into the playoffs. Duel threat Cam Newton is playing like a top tier QB having scored over 20 pnts in 5 of the last 6 weeks. Julius Thomas' knee may determine Jon’s playoff fate, but luckily his nemesis Allison won't be playing him again this season.

5. Bukkickers (7-6)

Billy narrowly lost this week. A touchdown by D. Bowe that was called back due to an illegal formation penalty may have given him the edge. Luckily for Billy, M. Ryan is showing signs of life with R. White back, and D. Jackson has a very favorable playoff schedule. Billy's got his eyes on the prize though, so watch out for this guy!

6. Sunday Funday (7-6)

It was a great week to be a WR on Lauren’s team. Alshon Jeffery and Josh Gordon both set team receiving records and scored over 40 points each. Josh Gordon also became the first receiver to catch over 200 yards in 2 consecutive games which is especially impressive when your QB is Josh Weeden. If this hot streak continues, who knows how far Lauren could go.

7. Love Me Harbaughs (7-6)

Betsy had a rough end of the season, dropping from #2 to #7. This week’s loss can be blamed completely on New Orleans or to be more exact, the Seattle Defense. Betsy’s 3 Saints players including Drew Brees scored a combined 12 points. Luckily, Drew Brees has a history of only having one awful game per year, so Betsy should fare better in the playoffs.

8. TEAM(youbetta)TWERK (7-6)

Jamie held onto the final playoff spot. Reggie Bush’s big game gave Jamie a lot to be thankful this week. Steven Jackson’s resurrection is a gift and a curse however. It seems like he’s now a startable RB but makes Jamie’s other RB Jason Snelling benchable. If he can find a serviceable flex, Jamie may surprise some people.

Touchdown Yeezus

9. Touchdown Yeezus (6-7) needed a miracle from Touchdown Yahweh, but his prayers went unheard. Anthony leaves us with waiver claim stud Andre Brown and Gronk playing at the top of their positions. The Godfather of bonus points ultimately met an ironic end by his own beloved creation.

Tebow’s Tingle

10. Tebow’s Tingle (6-7) intimidated us all with her stellar Cards Against Humanity skills and number one draft pick of fantasy favorite Adrian Peterson. Also equipped with everyone’s favorite endzone dancer Victor Cruz, Amanda seemed like a sure thing for the playoffs. However, it was not meant to be. Maybe it was the curse of being named after America’s punching bag Tim Tebow, or maybe it was somehow ending up with Andy Dalton as your starting QB, but Tebow’s Tingle will no longer see the light of day.

Lightning McCoy

11. Lightning McCoy (3-10) made 2 key decisions on draft day. The first was drafting Lesean McCoy as her starting running back, which proved to be a boon all season long. The second key decision Krittika made did not prove as fruitful: drafting Tom Brady as QB. Tom had a rought season and it took him until week nine that he finally got in the neighborhood of top-tier quarterbacks. Tom Brady’s revival was around the same time as the long-awaited team name change, from the well-loved “Krittika’s Team” to the more formidable Lightning McCoy. Unfortunately by then it was just a little too late for Brady and Krittika to get into the playoffs.

50ShadesofRay(Lewis)

12. 50ShadesofRay(Lewis) (2-11) titillated us all with a will she or won't she (set her lineup) season. Allison had a rocky start losing 2 starters to injury early. She then became the most coveted jewel of the league, frequently not setting her lineup. In contention for favorite moment of the year, Allison surprised Jon Stern by not only setting her lineup but destroying him for a 2nd time this season (her only 2 wins off the year).

Week 13 was a sad end of the season for some, but hopefully you have superhuman tear ducts like Knowshon because that would be amazing.

But for the love of obituaries, I'm proud to announce:

The Bob Fettweis Legacy Bowl

for worst team in the league.

Semifinals Matchups:

9. Touchdown Yeezus  vs  12. 50ShadesofRay(Lewis)

10. Tebow’s Tingle  vs  11. Lightning McCoy

Since it’s not possible to set up a custom bracket on yahoo, scores will be tracked manually. Win and you’re out of the Bob Fettweis Legacy Bowl, but lose and keep on playing for your right to suck. Set your lineups as usual, and results will be posted on next week’s recap.

*Teams who didn't make the real playoffs can no longer drop or add players, so scrounge up your best lineup.

WEEK 12 RECAP

WEEK 12 RECAP

Thanksgiving Edition

In a week where we’re all thinking about what we’re thankful for, let’s not forget about a great season in fantasy football. This is the last week of the regular season with 8 teams vying for 6 remaining playoff spots. Happy Thanksgiving!

1. DC Khaleesi (9-3)

Miranda has worked hard to stay on top of the league. Peyton’s cold weather woes were salvaged by a Herculean effort by Knowshon and Jamaal Charles. Knowshon hobbling around on crutches should be a concern as the #1 seed is up for grabs in this week’s match up with Dana.

Playoff Scenario: Already clinched.

2. Think Like a Manning (8-4)

Dana has made a late push to the top tier of the league. His rostering 3 quarterbacks strategy has actually turned out well and holding onto Shane Vereen is now paying dividends. Dana is looking strong having finally found a 2nd dependable RB to play. Will he be able to chase down Miranda for the top seed?

Playoff Scenario: Already clinched.

3. Crannogmen (7-5)

Luke squeaked out the closest win of the week. Ben Tate’s lack of touches was confusing but picking up and starting Nate Burleson was smart just off his injury. Luke should be able to make the playoffs if he can figure out his RB situation.

Playoff Scenario: Win and you’re in.

4. Bukkickers (7-5)

If there were points for fantasy football enthusiasm, Billy would be leading the league with his fashionable pilgrim outfits and encyclopedic memory of NFL player first name initials. Unfortunately for him, his running backs are struggling with Ray Rice’s nightmare season in Baltimore and Chicago’s surprisingly bad defense.

Playoff Scenario: Win and you’re in.

5. Love Me Harbaughs (7-5)

It’s a bad time to be on a 2 game losing streak. Betsy’s team performed well overall, but Vincent Jackson and Bobby Rainey underperformed. Zac Stacy has been a great draft pick and continued his dominant play this week until he suffered a concussion. His status is unknown.

Playoff Scenario: Win and you’re in.

6. Double Ent-Andres (6-6)

Jon Stern’s nemesis has returned. In the most surprising move of the week, Allison came out of retirement to do what she do: beat Jon Stern. Injuries to Julius Thomas, Matt Forte, and on Kansas City’s defensive line might prompt some roster moves this week. Luckily for Jon, his team has the most points this year, so any tie breakers will be in his favor.

Playoff Scenario: Win and you’re in.

7. Tebow’s Tingle (6-6)

Moccasin-gate wasn’t the only thing Amanda was mad about this week. Victor Cruz and Frank Gore underperformed despite having great matchups, and Denarius Moore’s late scratch didn’t help the cause.

Playoff Scenario: Win and you’re in. Lose and hope Lauren & Jamie also lose.

8. Sunday Funday (6-6)

Lauren’s 2 game losing streak can be blamed on forgetting about bye weeks and the Washington professional football team’s embarrassing performance on Monday night. That being said, all bye weeks are over, so all of Lauren’s team will be back in action, and Josh Gordon may be able to keep his stellar season.

Playoff Scenario: Win and hope Jon, Amanda & Jamie lose.

9. TEAM(youbetta)TWERK (6-6)

Jamie is in a bit of a rut having lost 3 straight. Philip Rivers and the pride of WVU Tavon Austin had great weeks, but Daniel Thomas left the game early with an injury. If Cincinnati's Defense hadn’t been on bye, Jamie might have won. But they were on bye.

Playoff Scenario: Win and hope Jon, Amanda & Lauren lose.

10. Touchdown Yeezus (5-7)

Anthony is still praying for a playoff bid. He is finally cashing in on the late season play of Andre Brown and Gronky Tonk, but it may be too late. To make the playoffs, Anthony will need to win this week and hope at least 2 other 6-5 teams to lose. Luckily for him, Tony Romo loves Thanksgiving and the Oakland D.

Playoff Scenario: Win and hope Amanda, Lauren & Jamie lose.

11. Lightning McCoy (3-9)

Look who’s on a 2 game win streak. Krittika won this week despite her best player being on bye. Even though she’s out of the playoff race, Krittika’s late season win streak may mean doom for other team’s season. With Allison’s revival, the title of worst team is still on the line this week.

12. 50ShadesofRay(Lewis) (2-10)

Don’t call it a comeback! Allison gave us 2 things to be grateful for this week: she beat Jon Stern and made some pretty sweet brownies. Mike Wallace and MJD’s great performances were almost as surprising as Allison setting a full lineup. Stevan Ridley’s continued fumbling problem might slow down this win streak though.

Don’t forget that there are 3 games on Thursday, starting at 1pm. The trade deadline is this week, and trade bonuses do not transfer to the playoffs. If possible, a loser’s (aka Sacko) bracket will be created, but that is TBD.

WEEK 11 RECAP

Good evening ladies and germs, welcome to the week 11 recap. We are getting so close to the playoffs and I'm sure many of us can practically taste the victory! Week 11 was full of ups and downs as four teams in our league had 20 bonus points from volleyball victory (BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW.  KILL!  KILL!  KILL!). But now, for a civilized touch, we bring you the recap, told this week in haiku form, because, of course:

1. DC Khaleesi (8-3)

Peyton was human

Luckily in fantasy

There is Allison

2. Think Like a Manning (7-4)

Is Nick Foles for realz?

Marshawn was the team’s Lynch pin

Surprise bonus points!

3. Bukkickers (7-4)

C. Johnson scored big

R. Rice finally showed up

So close to second!

4. Love Me Harbaughs (7-4)

Fleener, Stanford proud

But the biggest crush is still

Glennon to Jackson

5. Double Ent-Andres (6-5)

Trade deadline is nigh

Dirty trades are Jon’s Forte

It never gets old

6. Crannogmen (6-5)

With fiancee gone

Mad volleyball skills surpassed

Relationship bliss

7. Tebow’s Tingle (6-5)

Seattle crushed it

Bonus points carried the team

Nine-tenths of a point!

8. Sunday Funday (6-5)

RGIII played well

Redskin is still offensive

Some things never change

9. TEAM(youbetta)TWERK (6-5)

Victory was sweet

For a minute. Just until

It was snatched away

10. Touchdown Yeezus (4-7)

Playoff hopes are grim

Third loss due to bonus points

Who made these dumb rules?

11. Lightning McCoy (2-9)

She’s the real McCoy

Playoff runs could be ended

By this revived team

12. 50ShadesofRay(Lewis) (1-10)

Don’t set your lineup

You’re doing such a great job

Letting us all win

Due to the holidays, there won't be a scavenger hunt for bonus points, but if you dress up as a pilgrim or indian (native american) for Stress-Free Thanksgiving, you’ll get 5 bonus points for this week! Photos will be accepted for those who can’t attend.

WEEK 10 RECAP

Ohhh you guys. This week was a little tense for the Settlers, wasn't it? Some of us offered cupcakes and kickers for starting RBs and were struck down. Some of us were bitter we were only in second place due to bonus points. Some of us had to rebuild after injured starters limped off the fields, never to return again (for the season). But we are all in this together! Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Let's get to the recap, shall we?

1.     DC Khaleesi (7-3) is close to losing her throne with a 2 game losing streak. Miranda’s team played fairly well overall, but the TE spot has plagued the team all season, ever since the pre-season trade of Tony Gonzalez for a healthy running back. With Peyton Manning taking a hard hit at the end of the Broncos game, this team is in a shaky spot going forward.

2.     Love Me Harbaughs (7-3) is making a late push for the top seed. Drew Brees continues a close race for the top overall player in fantasy football with Peyton. TY Hilton salvaged a good day despite a blowout loss on the field. Zac Stacy continues to be the wunderkind of the St. Louis Rams, padding out Betsy’s starting lineup.

3.     Think Like A Manning (6-4) had the highest score of the week with 5 players scoring over 20 points. Dana may have found a startable TE with Delanie Walker gelling with Ryan Fitzpatrick. Nick Foles had another strong week, though he was on Dana’s bench, presumable because lightning doesn’t strike twice.

4.     Bukkickers (6-4) had a good win this week. Megatron keeps proving that he’s the best receiver in the game, and Giovani Bernard is finally starting to get the majority of touches in Cinci. Billy will have to monitor Vernon Davis’ injury closely this week, but other than that he seems to be on a steady climb to the top.

5.     Sunday Funday (6-4) had great games from her Washington National Football Team starters, though her beloved team lost to the Vikings this week. If only Mike Shanahan ever decided to give Alfred Morris any of the goal line carries, Lauren would be contending for the top spot. Don’t feel too bad though, Lauren essentially won this week on a hail mary pass to AJ Green.

6.     Still reeling from the loss of Aaron Rodgers, TEAM(youbetta)TWERK! (6-4) had a rough week with 4 players scoring under 3 points each. Larry Fitzgerald continues to underperform, but fellow Mountaineer Tavon Austin might have earned some flex consideration with his huge game this week.

7.     Double Ent-Andres (5-5) squeaked out the closest win this week despite bad performances from Cam Newton and Matt Forte. The team’s namesake continues his bro-mance with Case Keenum, but Mike James’ season-ending injury is an unfortunate deja vu for Jon.

8.     Crannogmen (5-5) may have suffered from fantasy karma this week. The good news is that there was only a 4 point difference between the QBs Luke and Krittika swapped this week; the bad news is that the totals were 4 and 0 points.

9.     Tebow's Tingle (5-5) had a tough loss this week. Russell Wilson seems to be in a groove despite a lack of TDs, and Adrian Peterson is doing his thing. Amanda would have won this week if only she had played everyone’s favorite racist Riley Cooper who might be the new Chris Carter: all he catches is touchdowns.

10.  Touchdown Yeezus (4-6) was hoping for some fantasy karma after doling out some hard justice this week but had only 1 player in score in double digits. The Cowboys couldn’t muster an even respectable response to the Saints offensive machine. Anthony will need to win 3 straight to have a chance for the playoffs.

11.  Lightning McCoy (2-8) broke her losing streak this week. Trading for bye-week fill in Kaepernick didn’t exactly work out, but Oakland’s defensive TD and Shady McCoy won her this week’s matchup. With Tom Brady off bye in week 11 and hopefully back to his former self, Krittika should be able to rack up a few more wins before the season is out.

12. 50ShadesofRay(Lewis) (1-9) will check her team to make some...interesting trades but won’t check her team to fill in the 2 empty spots on her roster. Fear the Taco.

The next league event will be Saturday the 16th at 2pm at Garfield Park on 3rd & G SE for some volleyball, but if the courts are taken, ultimate football, which is the same as ultimate frisbee but with a football. Please check the league emails for your team color. Good luck this week!

WEEK 9 RECAP

Week Nine was full of surprises, with tons of players scoring way better or way worse than expected. It was also the week of trades as almost every single team in the league made trades and started the week with at least ten bonus points. Without further ado, here is your week nine recap! Woo!

1. We all knew that DC Khaleesi (7-2) would have a rough week nine with the Denver Broncos on bye week. Backup QB Alex Smith had a bad week and both he and his RB Jamaal Charles had relatively low fantasy points this week against the Buffalo Bills. Mediocrity was the name of the game, and Miranda had her lowest point score and second loss of the season this week.

2. Love Me Harbaughs (6-3) rose to second place this week with a win over Think Like a Manning. Betsy was helped by a phenomenal and out-of-nowhere performance by Zac Stacy, who scored two touchdowns and rushed 27 times for 127 yards. Drew Brees continues to be a valuable asset to this team, with 382 pass yards and two touchdowns for the Saints.

3. TEAM(youbetta)TWERK (6-3) made the biggest jump of the week from sixth place to third. Jamie’s team (and the nation) were shocked on Monday night by Aaron Rodgers’ early-game exit with an injury to his collar bone. Despite losing a star player, this team still pulled out a win this week, with the honor of having the lowest scoring win of the league.

4. Crannogmen (5-4) suffered from the week of surprises, with CJ Spiller finally having a great week while on Luke’s bench, and dependable starter Dez Bryant dropped two passes and wasn’t targeted by QB Tony Romo for any deep passes (wonder why?). One good surprise was Jimmy Graham’s stellar performance despite a foot injury.

5. The team that benefited most from the week of surprises was surely Think Like a Manning (5-4). Dana may not have won his matchup, but his QB Nick Foles scored the most fantasy points of any QB in our league. Foles made seven touchdowns, an NFL record he shares with six other players. Dana had a good week, but just not good enough to bring down Betsy’s team.

6. This week Tebow’s Tingle (5-4) continued her winning streak with the third straight win in a row. Strong performances by top players Russell Wilson and Adrian Peterson buoyed Amanda’s team despite zero points from Nate Washington, who was in the game (I checked), but had no catches. Looks like her luck from the draft is starting to return as she continues her race to the top.

7. Choosing Giovanni Bernard based on his name payed off this week for Bukkickers (5-4), as he had a great game this week with two rushing touchdowns against the Miami Dolphins. Kyle Rudolph also proved a valuable asset this week before leaving the game with a broken foot and is out for six weeks. DeSean Jackson had a huge game receiving, despite not catching a single one of Nick Foles’ seven touchdowns.

8. Sunday Funday (5-4) had a pretty good week, but was brought down by poor performances from RGIII and the Indianapolis defense. Indy surprisingly only scored 1 point despite playing against a new QB in Houston. There was no justice for The Law Firm, as the Cincinnati Bengals were favoring Giovanni Bernard this week.

9. Double Ent-Andres (4-5) broke 200 points this week--the highest ever in the league--with a surprising 45 point game from namesake Andre Johnson who scored 3 TDs in the first half. Sneakiest League Member Jon Stern seems to have assembled an unstoppable team via trades and pickups. Amendola was also back this week as the NE dream team was reassembled and healthy.

10. Touchdown Yeezus (4-5) had his homeboy Chris Johnson back this week just in time for CJ to have an amazing week with the Titans. With Gronk also back and healthy, Anthony’s team was set up for victory and pulled it off. Arian Foster injured his back and left the game--a bad sign after his hamstring injury. Next week should balance out though, with Andre Brown coming off an injury and being a potential starter with the New York Giants.

11. Lightning McCoy (1-8) finally had a big week with a strong game from Tom Brady. A smart pickup of the Carolina Defense also proved a boon for Krittika’s team, and Jason Witten also had a great game this week. This team is only lacking receivers, so with a few pickups and trades, Krittika could definitely work her way to the top!

12. 50ShadesOfRay(Lewis) (1-8) set a personal record this week with five starting players on bye and one player on injured reserve. With only three healthy and functioning players, Alison only lost by seven points. Girls rule boys drool.

The next league event will be Saturday 11/16 in a rousing match of volleyball and/or Ultimate Football. Get ready for some fall fun!