Sunday night the Settlers of Cap Hill gathered to play a cutthroat game of Cards Against Humanity. Smack talking had begun earlier in the day when an intoxicated Betsy returned home just begging to be mocked for her ability to read alto clef. When the rest of the League arrived the game of Cards Against Humanity began. One side of the table had a stack of cards that was terrible at best, raising questions about the stacking of good cards on Betsy's side of the table vs. Miranda's side, and possible retaliation to the alto clef comments.
As the game proceeded, Billy, Miranda, Krittika, and Lauren were stuck with such stellar cards as "A good sniff", "Cards Against Humanity", and "Agriculture" before a pile-swap took place. By then Amanda had already won the first pick of the night--racking up 5 black cards and putting the rest of us to shame. Anthony quickly followed, receiving the second pick of the night, and then sped things up by declaring that a best AND worst card would be awarded. Billy wished he still had "Agriculture", but still racked up 5 cards quickly with 2 bests and 3 worsts after Lauren, Dana, and Luke had shown their prowess at choosing hilarious and inappropriate cards for hilarious and inappropriate people. Jon, Krittika, Miranda, Betsy, and Jamie trickled in after that, and Allison was last because she was not there. Slow clap for Allison.
The League took part in a old-school, offline draft due to some technical difficulties. However, it wasn't TOO old-school, since we did have a Google doc up on the TV screen, a list of ESPN and Yahoo! rankings, and the Internet. However, we also had a white board and it might have been redundant but some people found it helpful. The musical accompaniment was a glorious mix of 90s jock jams, and at least a few people were caught dancing to Ice Ice Baby and Eye of the Tiger.
The teams were chosen, the positions were explained, and Friday Night Lights comparisons were made. Some people demonstrated certain regional allegiances such as New England and the mid-Atlantic--we will see how they fare. Some people chose based on believability of player names (looking at you, Cecil Shorts and Jacquizz Rodgers). Others chose based on high school crushes and/or cuteness of players. Some people chose using a strategy best described as "The Riggins", and some chose because they knew what the hell they were doing. Only time will tell which of these strategies is best, but for now we can all agree that "The Riggins" is the best strategy for a faraway gaze and a gravelly voice saying "Texas forever."
The next challenge for the League before the games begin is the contest for Best Team Name. The voting will take place on Thursday, September 5, the night of the first game. Players will have until then to re-work their team names to make them THE BEST, or bask in the glory of having already made up THE BEST team name. The winner will be chosen the following Saturday and will win an additional 50 points. Matchups can be seen on the League homepage, and I can already tell you that the alto clef comments will bite me in the ass because I'm matched up against Betsy "high-school crush on Drew Brees" Congdon.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.
